Over the summer, while I was hanging out with a friend, a moment of particular vulnerability stood out during our conversation. They told me, “You make me feel safe.” It was a profound statement to make, unprompted, and one that displayed significant vulnerability and trust. (It’s impossible to know how that would be received – other than good.) It was quite unexpected. This friend is not always the most open about feelings, which made the moment that much more impactful. Not only was it a refreshing moment of openness, but I took what they said to heart and reflected on how I must be doing something right in the friendship.
I’ve thought a lot about this moment since then. Innately, we seek safety for self-preservation, for peace, and for comfort. How many of us have people we would consider a safe space? How much work are we intentionally putting into ourselves to be that for others? Are we willing to work on being emotionally and physically safe spaces to our circles? Is our very presence enough to put people at ease, let them be themselves, and lower their guards?
I recognize my own limitations in putting this type of trust in others. If I do, it’s rarely full-throated, which, by definition, means I don’t feel completely safe. I selectively lessen my grip and often just for a fleeting moment or two. Loosening that emotional control for too long may put something on display not yet curated for public consumption. Guess I need to practice what my friend did with me, proclaim who my safe spaces are to those people, and live within them more wholeheartedly.
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