Category: Musings

I struggled over what to share next in this sabbatical flashback series of blog posts. Ultimately, I decided to go a little deeper into my experiences and my personal journal I kept during the trip. This time it’s personal.

A year ago this week I was into my second week in Prague. For new readers, this was decidedly the low point of the entire trip. For most of the second week I fell ill with food poisoning or something else that kept me down. My trips to the cheap Chinese restaurant near the hostel and bar visits came to a complete standstill as just about everything I ate that wasn’t bland disagreed with me. I spent the majority of that second week in Prague finding plain breadsticks, crackers or saltine equivalents, plain rice, and lots of water. The little I did eat still brought upon sensations internally I did not appreciate. Suffice to say I did not venture far from the hostel those days.

Nobody likes being sick. However, being sick away from everything you are familiar with amplifies everything that’s wrong with the world. Whatever is hiding beneath the surface of your exterior begins to make itself known. Emotions are raw and small triggers can set off a wave of thoughts and concerns that normally are well suppressed. I had too much time to avoid anything bubbling up.

Approaching the mid-way part of this trip, I was realizing that in spite of my strong introverted nature and appreciation of time to myself, I was not alone, but lonely. Leading up to this trip, I was increasingly doing stuff on my own, whether doing prep at work after hours organizing projects and documentation to planning lodging and locations to be in Europe, I was increasingly flying solo. Because nobody else around me was doing anything remotely similar, everything took on this feeling of an adventure that only I was called to do. (OK, it’s all kind of true.) It was like there wasn’t anybody around me I could relate to about this trip – and seemingly many facets of my life. Like I said, being sick amplified a lot. I told myself I’d make changes upon returning to the US about spending more quality, intentional time with people. But that in itself doesn’t automatically fix how I feel.

I do believe there are phases in life that where we must go will be a solo journey and it will feel lonely. Sometimes I think I’m still in that phase and journey that is very much mine. Hopefully the end of this specific journey will yield new insights and relationships with people who I can travel with.

Upon one of my first of many non-directed wanderings through the streets of Prague, I came upon this scene of these two guys sitting on the sidewalk up against a building. They appeared to be looking at a travel guide probably because they found themselves lost in the winding, non-grid street system. I did this plenty of times after walking for a while after losing my sense of direction. A few times I would find myself in a sense of deja vu after coming upon the same streets because I walked in circles. Although I always tried to be discreet about my map review so I didn’t look too touristy. I’m sure my orange camera messenger bag helped me blend right in.

At first glance, the scene itself isn’t anything special. It was on a quiet side street where few people where walking that afternoon. What caught my eye is the gentleman on the right appeared to have Down’s Syndrome. As some readers may know, my older brother has Down’s. In an instant I was drawn back home. This small part of life in Prague reminded me a little bit of where I came from and of my own life. Perhaps if I was a bit more adventurous or able to speak Czech, I would’ve stopped to have a conversation and learn more about these men. Instead, I leave this image below to our imagination about their conversation and lives.

This month marked my 12 year anniversary with the same company I started working for when I graduated college. In fact, they actually found me through my school’s career center. I’m living proof that the system can help! I’ll be the first to say that it’s quite the feat in a time where it’s not uncommon to have 3-6 different jobs by this time after graduating. While there are also benefits to being in new environments and learning to adapt to different scenarios and people, the longevity with my surroundings meshes very well with my personality. Confidence rises along with the strength of my knowledge and most importantly with the people who have been there just as long. Recollecting stories and projects from years past and reflecting on how events have shifted and changed us creates a large sense of meaning and purpose.

It’s the change within with the consistency that I think I enjoy the most. Too often I think people prefer the quicker option of moving on to something new and different and define that action as the only way to create significant change in their lives. While that certainly works, there is an immense challenge and ultimate satisfaction in sticking it out. Seeing a person’s perspective or ideas change over time as you interact, and vice versa, is amazing to watch. Seeing work processes change for the better (e.g. efficiency, profit, new services) is fun. I love having that conversation of “remember when we only did X and now we can do Y and Z because we pushed ourselves?” Newcomers into an organization or group of friends won’t fully understand until they’ve been around a while and experience similar things.

June also brought with it the wedding of one of my closest friends. I was honored to be called upon for best man duties. As many know, one specific responsibility is to write and give the best man speech at the wedding reception. I didn’t bring any tears with what I said, but in preparing for it, I reminisced about a friendship that has spanned over two decades of my life. There’s something incredibly special about that type of longevity with anything in life.

The challenge to be loyal to just about anything these days is difficult. (It wouldn’t be a challenge otherwise, right?) But with the right people, friends, jobs, etc., the effort required to maintain that connection and work through the tough times can yield a joy and contentment that is difficult to find jumping from one thing to another.